An exhausting kind of love


I dropped my boys off at daycare earlier than normal on Friday morning to head to Memphis, TN for my little sisters Bachelorette party.  My mom, and middle sister and I put a lot of thought and planning into the weekend to make it special and memorable for Abby and all her friends…..I think that we succeeded. It was a great trip.

With some of the girls getting ready for dinner
 I had a blast sitting and having girl talk over several glasses of wine.  I loved the laughter and hilarity that comes from the conversations of 14 tipsy ladies. And it was nice to go out and dance to something different then the ‘Frozen’ soundtrack. However the lack of sleep that I now have, from enjoying the previously mentioned items is extreme. 
Mom and sisters

My little gentleman stayed at home and played with daddy all weekend.  This was the FIRST time I have ever left for a whole weekend away from all my boys.  And while I hopped in the car excited Friday morning full of anticipation for the weekend, I more excitedly jumped in the car Sunday to head home to see my family.

I love my sisters and my mom; they really are my best friends. And I think girl’s days/weekends are necessary, but their hugs don’t hold a candle to my little Jimmy running to me to wrap his arms so tight around my neck that I could let go of him and he would just dangle.  It was nice to hear others say I was beautiful. But it doesn’t make me weak in the knees like it does when my little Jakers says “you’re the prettiest girl in the world.” And while there were many different people I could have danced with none of them could have taken my hand and made me feel the love and security I get when I dance with my husband.


I left on Friday morning for Memphis exhausted, from little sleep because the night before I was busy with soccer practice/game, dinner, bath time and bedtime.  My hubby and I work as a team but there are nights when no matter what, one of the boys wants mommy.   It is Mommy that has to get their plate ready for dinner, mommy has to get the ketchup, “no daddy, I want mommy to get me the napkin!” and other times Daddy gets it on his end. These nights are utterly exhausting and frustrating.  “Why can’t daddy wipe your face, mommy is still eating?” But we go along with it; whoever is being summoned on that night tirelessly complies with all our little ones demands. Because soon enough we know they will be quiet and in bed, we chalk it up to “they are just tired.”

Sunday night however when I got home, I had a little different twist.  I was already so very tired from the weekend with only six hours of sleep over two nights.  We had fun, but that fun didn’t include sleep. When I arrived home I was greeted with open arms and sincere hugs. I was also greeted with two little boys who wouldn’t leave my side.  I had two little boys who were glued to me as I went back and forth from my room to the laundry room doing my laundry from the weekend. I had two little boys who followed me like ducks all night. When I told my hubby I needed to run to store for a few things….You guessed it! I had two little boys who stood there waiting to go too.

Any other time I might have been a little irritated as it takes twice as long when the boys won’t leave me side. But yesterday, I didn’t bother me at all.  I had just been gone all weekend and I totally loved that I got to have them by my side all evening. I loved that they wanted to go everywhere with me.  I loved that I was missed.

I hope as I get back into this week and the routine I can remember they don’t want me to get them ketchup and a napkin to annoy me.  They don’t follow me around and want to “help” with laundry or cleaning the floor to frustrate me. They just want ME. They want to spend time with me no matter what I am doing. My husband doesn’t mind NOT spending time with me while I clean the toilets……but the boys are right there. Whether it is a quick trip to the store, vacuuming with a toddler or trying to cook with two little boys in my kitchen they do it to be with me, not to exhaust me, but to show their constant love for me.

My boys sleeping with me after the trip, Jimmy wanted to sleep ON TOP of me.
I need to remember patience, because at times their love can be exhausting, when I am always needed. But this weekend when I wasn’t “needed”, I missed it.  I missed someone loving me so much that they cried when I walked out of the room. I missed getting my little guy a drink, and hearing “you are the best mommy!”  I need to remember these days won’t always be here. They won’t always follow me and want to be with me.  One day they may not come running to me with arms wide open, so I need to love this. Love the now, and love the little boys who tirelessly call my mommy, because I am thankful to be it!


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