Mommies are not supposed to be sick

Being sick is no fun, you are congested or sick to your stomach, tired, fatigued and you just need to rest and sleep as much as you can until it passes. That is, unless you are a mommy (or Daddy), then you just do all the normal stuff that you do, take care of the kids, dinner, bathes, shop for groceries, work, read bedtime stories  …. and because of the rest that you need but can’t really take you just get to feel like shit for twice as long (winning!...NOT). Unfortunately the tiny little humans that you created don’t really understand or care that you are sick and don’t feel good. They are still hungry when it is dinner time and tired when it is time for baths and bed. 

I just finished a winter that I was sick with tonsillitis seven times. That is about 35 days that I felt so crap-tastic that I eventually went to see an ENT about having my tonsils and android removed.  I met with Dr. Huang (who if you live in the Springfield, IL area and need an ENT I highly recommend him, he is amazing!) and he confirmed that I would be a prime patient to have this procedure done.  I had a lot of scare tissue because of so many bouts of tonsillitis that he was going to remove that as well. I walked out of that office very pleased that FINALLY someone was going to remove these things that have been a constant source of pain and sickness for years.

Everyone was telling me the horror stories about when they had their tonsils removed and how bad it was.  Honestly I kind of listened but very idiotically thought “I have a high pain threshold, it’s not gonna be bad!” The closer it got the more nervous I became, but I was most weary about the general anesthesia that I had to be put under for the surgery to take place. For those of you that may not know me, I like to be in control of what is going on, take me out of control…(ahem, general anesthesia) and I get a little stir crazy at that thought.

Morning of the surgery, we wake up before the sun and report to the clinic to have the surgery.  I talked to the anesthesiologist, and every other person that came to speak to me, to let him know my fear of being put to sleep.  I let him know that I have two little babies to take care of and a husband who would not know what to do without me. He assured me he had never felt better. Perfect, it all went very fast, walked to the surgery room and was back in my post-op room in the blink of an eye. I woke up from anesthesia (very pleased about that!), and was ready to start this recovery process.  I got the doctors’ orders and like the good little student I always have been, I planned to follow those to a tee!

He recommends talking two weeks off and that is something I thought was a little obscene,” I will follow his orders and because of that I should be feeling better in a week”….or so I assumed. Anyone who told me their horror stories, you didn’t do the recovery process justice of just telling me how horrible and agonizing it was….I guess I am happy I didn’t listen, or I may not have gone through with it.

I spent 10 days alternating my pain medicine every two hours and drinking and eating as much as I could to aid in the healing process, but holy hell-balls! That pain was intense! Someone said “you can get through childbirth, this will be nothing.” WRONG!!!! My labors lasted less than 12 hours and then my kids pretty much came out on their own. Literally, Jimmy kicked (and bruised) my rib because he kicked himself out as I was waiting on the doctor. And then after the labor I got the most incredible miracle that I have even seen, my boys! This is 14 days of horrible pain, making it hard to eat (which is one of my favorite things to do) and then at the end of all this I MIGHT not get sick so much. 

The pain was awful, but the fact that I couldn’t do what I LOVE more than anything in this world…be a hands-on mommy, killed me. It hurt to talk, eat, drink and I was constantly tired, I stayed at my parents for a few days just because I knew it was easier for daddy if I was not at home.  Taking care of two little ones was enough he didn’t need a sick momma. So I got to be with MY mommy, who waited on me hand and foot, she woke me up in the middle of the night with my medicine and was truly the best nurse I could have ever asked for.  I could have done everything she did for me, but I happily sat back at let her do it…..Thanks momma, you’re the best!

My first night home I took a shower, twisted my wet heir up and wrapped a robe around myself, I went out to the family room where all my boys were and I was headed to sit and relax on the couch.  Daddy had already had a conversation with them about ‘how mommy was sick and try to be quiet’, but when I appeared Jake came running full boar at me.  When I came home it is so engrained in me that when the boys need something despite my pain and discomfort, despite my exhaustion and fatigue I do it. So I swooped up my sweet three year old boy, and I am so glad it did. Just as Daddy was scolding the two of us, Jake for running to me, and Me- for picking him up and not resting. Jake gave be a big hug and then leaned his head into my neck and inhaled. As he backed away from me he said “You smell so clean and beautiful, Mommy you are my favorite smell!” The high quality pain killers didn’t take away the pain like that little boys words.

I picked up the boys several days later from school, something that is so routine to me, but after not doing it for over a week I could not wait to go get them.  I went to Jakes room and as always he came running to me, he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug. It was then again that he leaned away from me and said “I missed your smell, I always love it!” I Picked Jimmy up and noticed that he did the same, wrapped his arms around me but buries his head into my neck.

It is said that babies are placed on their mothers chests after birth because within seconds the infant will recognize its mothers scent and calm down.  I know when my boys are hurt they cry more often for mommy, I just hope with the boo-boo’s and ouchies that are yet to come, my scent and hugs can heal them like they do now.  

When you are out of your routine it makes you pick up on the little things that you overlook.  Having my tonsils removed was painful, and I do not want to do it again but I know that it will be worth the pain. I love that I was able to realize the joy in my routine, the happiness in the everyday mundane.  I love for this time in my little boy’s life I was told that I was his favorite smell,  because if I hadn’t had the surgery he wouldn’t have missed it, and I may have never known or realized how he inhales deeply with each hug I give.