Mommy.... It's my favorite name

My husband and I were fortunate; we talked about the possibility of growing our family and we were blessed the next month to be pregnant.   For all the women who have a difficult time conceiving I cannot imagine that pain. And my heart hurts for you.   After taking countless “you can test up to 5 days sooner” tests. They were all negative, probably cause it was 5 days too soon.   However, I know it was only our first month trying but I was broken hearted. I left for a business trip to Chicago and was gone for three days. I was very busy and preoccupied with the conference I attended that I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I STILL had not started.   I got home that night and bought a digital test, but I followed the directions and waited until the next morning to take it, (that’s willpower). My hubby has to be at work before me so he had already left when I woke up. I took the test, left it on the vanity in the bathroom and was getting ready to take ...

I had amazing parents who helped to teach me to be positive. They provided me with encouragement, strength, wisdom and most importantly love;   In doing so that gave me the ability to be self-confident and strong. Sure there are times while I was growing up that I was uncomfortable or not-so-sure in my skin, but I had a mom who happily listened to all of my stories (along with my little sisters) from school that day. She would assure me: “Ang, you are very smart, don’t let this grade determine who you are.” “Angela Rae, you are smart and beautiful don’t let anyone or anything let you think differently!!!” but my favorite one, “honey, I am so proud of you.” This one came with my accomplishment and my defeats.   This came when I finally decided to switch my major in college and was petrified that both my parents would be disappointed. But instead that Christmas afternoon when we talked all they said was “We are so proud of you, we just want you to be happy.”   I know I...

I think it obvious that I love my boys, very, very much……but that doesn’t mean I don’t get stressed out.   I have been working quite a bit lately, so that adds to the stress and little sleep.   Does anyone else every think; “can anything else go wrong right now?”……well don’t say that! EVER! …because, yes, it most certainly can! Jake and Daddy fell asleep on the couch last night before I even got home from work, so I ‘sweetly’ left them there so I could crawl into bed ALL ALONE. (This is a luxury that too many people take for granted. Haha) I think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow. At 4am Jake climbed in bed with me and kissed my cheek as he snuggled close. What a cutie, right? Well it was cute until 5:30am when I woke up ‘sweating’ because I was so hot from him pretty much laying on me. I gently move him and rolled out of bed like I am Keanu Reeves in the Matrix movie, trying to not wake him. It is only then that I see I’m not actually sweating I am coved ...

I think all too often, we get caught up in what we don’t have and forget about everything we do have. I am guilty of this.   Before having kids I wanted the new Coach purse, or a (few) new pair of shoe(s).   I wanted a newer, nicer car.   I wanted many new and nice things.   And many times because both my husband and I were working and we didn’t have kids and a daycare bill and doctor bills….I just ran right out and got them. So it hit me in the face after Jake was born when I found myself without work for a substantial period of time.   There was no more frivolous spending.   We watched every nickel and dime but I know this has made us better, more fiscally responsible people. However I am not saying that I didn’t complain, and still sometimes do as we try to build back up the saving that we so drastically cut into.   I often talk about my little boys and have left their daddy out of the topic of conversation. However my life would not be ...

I grew up with two little sisters; we had loads of little girl friends; neighborhood friends, school friends, gymnastics friends.   There were not a lot of little boys that we played with.   My “best friend” Mikey moved away when we were very little so my memories are of all things pink. Bows, and Barbie’s, and baby dolls, playing house and who got to me the “mommy.” As stated before I always wanted to be a mommy, so when I got pregnant with our first son Jake, I was beyond thrilled.   I had a hunch Jake was a boy from the beginning and I was thrilled, I truly didn’t care one way or another, boy or girl, just please lord give me a healthy baby! And thankfully he did, a perfect, healthy 7lb 11oz baby boy! He was an easy going baby, a pure delight. I never thought anything about the fact that I didn’t ‘ know ’ about “boy stuff”……after all he was just a baby. That baby grew up fast then I could have imagined into a little toddler who did things that I thought to...

Has anyone else ever thought “How in the world was I late for stuff BEFORE I had kids?”   I hate to be late and before children it didn’t happen very often, but still there was an occasional time where I would sleep past my alarm.   But I then could spring out of bed, quickly fix my hair, throw on some make up and clothes brush my teeth and be out the door within 20minutes (if I absolutely needed too).   Now I am not sure if I can get out the door in 20 minutes when the whole family is ready and just needs to put coats on. happy little naked baby! As long as he's got food, he is good to go! :-) This morning was one of those mornings; I hadn’t slept well because my little “anti-sleeper” kept me up again. So when I finally get up it is 6:30, mind you this used to be the time I got up before kids.   However now I like to be up no later than 5:45, so I drastically cut my time down for OPERATION: GET OUT THE DOOR ON TIME. I hop in the shower get myself compl...

Before I became a mom, I was not very emotional; it really took A LOT to make me cry.   I was able to watch the sappiest, sweetest, heart-wrenching movies and not shed a tear…….THEN I became a mom.   Holy water works! I can now cry at a 30 second commercial, and then I can cry AGIN when I am trying to explain the commercial that got me started crying in the first place to my husband who thinks I am probably a crazy woman. Every miles stone, each sweet comment, and every kiss from my little boys makes me so proud to be their mommy that I can sometimes feel a wave a pride come over me and have to fight back the urge to cry. The joy they bring to my life is insurmountable.   With the joy is also the pain I feel myself when they are in pain or sick or hurt.   I never understood why when I was in college and homesick and miserable calling my mom sobbing, why she was crying too….”she wasn’t at school…Alone?”   But now I get it. It hurt her more than it did me....

Our little Jaker-beans is not a “good” sleeper; anyone who follows me on Facebook may have seen my posts about my little anti-sleeper.   Ever since baby brother came into the picture he has fought bedtime like it was the plague. We knew that having a new baby brother and moving out of the room that was HIS , the nursery and going to a big boy bed were all big transitions.   So we made him a bed that many adults said they would like to have.   He has a cardinal baseball themed room, which is his favorite thing in the world….After all he thinks he IS David Freese. We did all this in hopes of making his transitions easier. Jakes new big boy bed His scoreboard and baseball stuff However it has been over a year since he would happily lie down at 8:00pm and sleep all night.   So we have decided NOT to fight it.   We know that 8:00 is not the ideal bedtime for each child, and MOST of the time he is in dreamland by 9:00pm.   Then, either my husband ...

I am a “working mom,” which I never really understood this term.   I am sure anyone who is a mother herself knows that you work your tail off whether you stay at home with you little ones or work outside the home.     For several years I was a “non-working mom,” (I mean this completely fictitiously).   However I stayed at home for two years with Jake and felt when people asked me ‘what I did for a living’ and I replied with “I am a stay-at-home mom” they somehow thought that diminished my intellectual aptitude. I think whether you stay-at-home or work outside the home you get labels.   I now work outside the home and when I run into women that stay at home with their little peanuts it is difficult to hear, “Oh I couldn’t work outside the home; I would miss my kids too much!” Implying, I DON’T miss my kids? Either way being a mom is tough. I try to look at other moms without judgment. I whole heartedly think that I will parent my kids and you can paren...