Don’t go breakin’ my heart
Before I became a mom, I was not very emotional; it really
took A LOT to make me cry. I was able to
watch the sappiest, sweetest, heart-wrenching movies and not shed a tear…….THEN
I became a mom. Holy water works! I can
now cry at a 30 second commercial, and then I can cry AGIN when I am trying to
explain the commercial that got me started crying in the first place to my
husband who thinks I am probably a crazy woman.
Every miles stone, each sweet comment, and every kiss from
my little boys makes me so proud to be their mommy that I can sometimes feel a
wave a pride come over me and have to fight back the urge to cry. The joy they
bring to my life is insurmountable. With
the joy is also the pain I feel myself when they are in pain or sick or
hurt. I never understood why when I was
in college and homesick and miserable calling my mom sobbing, why she was
crying too….”she wasn’t at school…Alone?”
But now I get it. It hurt her more than it did me.
This morning I dropped my Jimmy off in his new room at
Daycare. He is now in the ‘toddler’ room.
The second I let his feet hit the ground he started crying so hysterically
and clinging to me with every ounce of strength my sweet little angel had. My
life, are those boys, they are my happiness and to have to have someone pull
your screaming baby off of you, is a feeling that left me sobbing. All I had to do was go in there and get him,
to hold him, to NOT go to work today and just take him home. But I can’t, I DO
have to work, to provide for him but in the meantime I will cry my whole way to
work. I will pull myself together to
walk into work. Then I will see the beautiful picture I have of my boys hanging
on my walls at work, which will lead me to cry again thinking about him.
I know he will grow and adapt to his new room, just like I
grew and adapted to being at college. It will all work out. This is how we grow
and learn and I understand that but in the meantime I hope for less tears, I
hope mommy can be as strong as Jimmy and I hope that he ALWAYS knows that if he
needs me, I will be RIGHT back to get him!
I have gotten several texts and calls from the daycare that
my Jimbo is happy and playing and eating up a storm like the happy little boy
he always is. Mommy on the other hand……isn’t recovering so fast! L
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