Sleep, sleep where art thou?


Our little Jaker-beans is not a “good” sleeper; anyone who follows me on Facebook may have seen my posts about my little anti-sleeper.  Ever since baby brother came into the picture he has fought bedtime like it was the plague. We knew that having a new baby brother and moving out of the room that was HIS, the nursery and going to a big boy bed were all big transitions.  So we made him a bed that many adults said they would like to have.  He has a cardinal baseball themed room, which is his favorite thing in the world….After all he thinks he IS David Freese. We did all this in hopes of making his transitions easier.
Jakes new big boy bed
His scoreboard and baseball stuff

However it has been over a year since he would happily lie down at 8:00pm and sleep all night.  So we have decided NOT to fight it.  We know that 8:00 is not the ideal bedtime for each child, and MOST of the time he is in dreamland by 9:00pm.  Then, either my husband or I will carry him to his bed; where he will sleep for 2-4 hours before walking down the hall and climbing in our bed.  Now while countless people have told me that “it is ridiculous” that I let him sleep with us and not “just force him to lay in his room”.  I say this I hopes that I don’t sound like a ‘new-aged’ parent that doesn’t believe in saying “no” or raising your voice or time-outs or even spanking if the situation warrants.  But I do not believe in parenting with force. I parent out of love. 


Feel asleep watching the world series!
There must be something going through his little head when he comes in scared and asks to sleep with mommy and daddy.  Our bed is big enough.  I have two ideas on why this is okay in our house.  My job is to protect them, to love them and to keep them safe.  I also want to get sleep. J  When he climbs in bed with us, he feels safe and loved…. and huge bonus, we are all sleeping. Also there is nothing like cuddling your baby!  Whether they are 1 day or (from what I hear) 100 years old, you are always your mommas baby. 

Now I have my Jimmy.  He is a great little sleeper, he cries for his bed at 7:00pm and will sleep until 7:00am, most days.  However he is transitioning to his ‘Toddler’ room this week at daycare. He has been waking up in the night terrified.  As soon as I step away from his sightline he is hysterical.  I know that this will get better, but I am sure any mom that has gone through this knows how much it hurts your heart.  To hear: “he had another rough day” when I pick him up from daycare, crushes me.

Last night, as soon as I swooped him up from his crib he calmed down.  He just utters “mama, mama” as he sweetly touches my face.  He just needs to know that I am there.  I say it to him and I wish he could understand that “honey, mama is ALWAYS here, I will never let anything happen to you!”  But instead I tuck him snug in on the other side of me in our bed and wait for the hour that big brother will come in. This will only last for so long. In 5 years I will look back and my babies will no longer be babies, but little boys.  I know then there will be another set of transitions to overcome.  I will be there, alongside them, NOT to do-it for them, but to help guide them as much as I can.

If you have a different sleep routine and this wouldn’t work for you that’s okay! My way is far from perfect.   I hope you find this throughout my writing, you do what works for your child and your family and I will do what works for mine. In the mean time lets support each other. Motherhood is difficult always questioning if “did I do the right thing”, “am I making the right choices?”  Some nights like this last one, I question: “is it just our babies, or is bedtime difficult for others?”   When parents quickly say after I tell them our sleeping woe’s “I just tell my toddler to go to bed at 8:00pm and they put themselves to bed,”  I then think to myself, “am I missing something?” Or are they kidding themselves.

For now I will see the positive, I get more hours to snuggle and love on them…even if it is in the middle of the night…and even if that means little sleep for mommy….I will be gone too soon.



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