Oh baby its about to get wilder!

Oh it has been far too long, and there has been a lot of change in our house!

We are expecting baby #3! If you have read any of my last blogs you know that Jake prayed and prayed and prayed for a baby girl. From the second we told him mommy had a baby in her tummy he was adamant that it was a girl. Almost so sure it was a girl that I was nervous for the let-down if it was a new baby brother and considered not finding out. But alas my curiosity got the best of me and we had to find out!  Sure enough….a little bundle of pink was on the way! And when we told the boys Jake’s reaction surprised us, he was more excited when I told him we were having tacos for dinner.

Mommy: Are you excited buddy?

Jake: Of course!

Mommy: I thought you would be a little happier.

Jake: I am happy, but mom, I KNEW it was a girl. I have always known!

To back up a little we found out we were pregnant in early March after moving my sister to Utah I just didn’t feel right, and those two little pink lines could not have been any more welcomed, we were thrilled! We kept the news to ourselves for the first 12 weeks, Well everyone BUT my Nanny, (my mom’s mom). It was during the time that we were not telling anyone yet that she started her very rapid decline. On the day she was released from the hospital into in-home hospice I was the one to drive her home. It was just me and Nanny and I knew I couldn’t let her leave this earth without telling her our news.

In her exhausted, deteriorating state, on the way home from the hospital to wait for the inevitable to happen I told her that we were once again expecting. Her eyes lit up, and like she always could do, she turned on her happy face. “Oh this is the best day ever! This is the BEST news!” I will never regret letting the little secret slip, and I am so glad I did. It was less than two weeks and she was gone.

I had gotten to say my goodbyes and I knew she was in a much better place, free of pain and able to paint and smile and walk again. I knew that I would see her again, and I prayed for her to watch over us. What I didn’t know is how much the boys would talk/pray to her. At her funeral everyone was sitting quietly, again no one knew we were expecting, of course not the boys or they would have blabbed it to the world. But in the silence before the funeral began, our entire family was sitting down when Jimmy stood on the chair to yell to Nanny “Nanny is holding my baby sister until she brings her to us!” Every stunned turned around and I had to hold back tears as I pretended that nothing was out of the ordinary.

Throughout this entire pregnancy the boys will pray to nanny and laugh at a joke she told them in their dreams and they will retell it to me. If you don’t believe in heaven, you may not get it, but I think she comes through them to talk to me.

Last night as I was about to lose my mind as Jimmy would not go to sleep, he was out of his bed for what felt like the millionth time. I just raised my voice and started to yell when he asked me “mommy can you just pray to your nanny with me?” (Talk about feeling like a butthead) Sure buddy, and then you have to go to bed! Jimmy’s prayers go all over the place from wanting to be a power ranger, to wiener talk to family to Santa and light sabers….so you never really know how it will go. But with the end of this pregnancy very near and my level of readiness to meet this sweet girl I was very pleased with his prayer.

Jimmy: “Dear Nanny, thank you for watching over my sister and keeping her healthy! I love you and I hope that you are feeling good and your back doesn’t hurt anymore. I hope you had fun holding Baby Addi, but it is time for her to come to my house! Please give her a kiss and then please keep her safe and send her to mommy to hold, I promise mommy does a good job! I love you, Amen!”

Jimmy, I had to write this story down because more often than not you are crazy an ornery and so very funny, but last night that was the best prayer I could have ever gotten and I thank you so much for getting up for the millionth time to include me! You will be an amazing big brother. And from before you even knew there was a baby on the way you knew ‘Mommy’s Nanny’ was holding her, and somehow knew it was time for her to come to this world. Little boy you amaze me!

Nanny, I miss you so much and I can’t wait to kiss this baby because I know that she is coved in your kisses. Thank you for watching over us, Love you always!

If you read this an you are not a believer, that is fine, but I believe and my children do and I know if I don’t write this story down I may not remember and it was too sweet not to.