Mother of the year award...is NOT going to me.

Yesterday I was supposed to be at work, but because of a snow storm that closed the boy’s daycare, I stayed at home with them and even tried to work from home.  Anyone who works from home WHILE watching their small kids, and isn’t on a boatload of medication, I tip my hat to you! Holy moly!

I had a conference call that was scheduled so I made sure that the boys were fed, they each had a drink, Jimmy was changed, the dogs were fed……I was good to go! The boys were happily playing with their train set, which can keep them occupied for hours. So I get out the laptop and I hoped on this phone call. This was only going to last 10-15 minutes.  I just had to finalize some last minute critiquing to a website I am working on.

 I no more then said “hello, this is Angie, calling for…” and it's like a bell for Pavlov’s dog with dinner. Both boys were right there trying to climb into my lap. Jake, “I wanna see, I wanna see!” “Who’s that?”  Jimmy, fighting with everything he had to get Jake off my lap so that he could climb on, all while fussing “mama, mama!” So I politely said that I was having technical difficulty and would call them right back.

Now before I had kids, I had the BEST ideas ever on how I would raise my kids. I would never set them in front of a TV and let that be the babysitter. I was ALWAYS going to work and play with them to continually help them learn. I wasn’t going to feed them fast food, because I can just as easily make a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich if I needed a fast dinner. They would be allowed limited sweets, and only if they were being very good. I would not give in when they are being whiny just to make it stop. I would never buy them things in the store when they were not acting appropriate.  I wish I would talk to that person and slap her! And really anyone else who gives me parenting advice when they obviously have no kids of their own. 

So while I am not proud of it I got off the phone and got out the iPad, Jake loves the iPad.  He doesn’t get to play with it all the often…but today was the day! “Jake do you want to play on the iPad? You can go in mommy and daddy’s room where Jimmy won’t bother you and play.” He happily scampered off with a $450.00 electronic item (again, me before kids, I would NEVER allow a child to play with such an expensive toy)(” but he knows how to use it”-me after having kids). And I had a little victory dance…”one down, one to go”

So being the exceptional mother that I was that day, I continued to travel down the path of least resistance. I put Jimmy in the high chair….the kid loves to eat…and he loves chocolate! So as the phone is ringing for the second time I bring out the chocolate pudding I made earlier in the day (they were going to get this for dessert after dinner). As the woman on the other line starts talking, I start shoveling the chocolate pudding in Jimmy’s mouth. The child had never been so happy! This was all working perfectly ...until Jake came out.  I only had another 2 minutes or so on the call but Jimmy had eaten 3 of the chocolate puddings to get me to that point. (Hey I did use skim milk to make the pudding, that’s healthy, right?) Anyways, Jake was about to lose it, “Jimmy ate all the pudding!” So I jump out of my chair and pull out the entire bag of Oreo’s open it up and let Jake go to town. The phone call was finally over, Jimmy was chocolate drunk and Jake was 1/3 of the way through the Oreos. As I looked at their little chocolate covered face I couldn’t help but laugh.

 And while some people may completely disagree with the way I handled the situation, on a good day I think I would disagree with the way I handled the situation. But that day it was all I had in me at the time to get through the phone call. I am no longer the naïve girl that thinks if I occasionally run through the drive-thru, or let them watch TV, or give them chocolate before dinner, or give-in to a fussy toddler cause it is the 19^th tantrum that day and neither he or I have had enough sleep to put up a fight for whether or not he can have another damn sucker.  I realize that raising kids is 100% harder than I ever thought it would….It is worth it…but it is still challenging.

While I think I have a lot of moments that I should pat myself on the back for a job well done, with pinterest project completed by the boys that actually look like the picture. I also have these moments, which I am sure if someone was filming me as I let my babies engorge themselves with chocolate I would be far from mother of the year. 

I don’t always have neat and tidy, well organized crafts and puzzles and educational items for them so they can “learn”. I do however let them be kids, and get into things and get messy and get dirty. And somehow this can be perceived as bad? Because my toddler or 3 year old is messy?  I take them to the ball fields to run bases, and Jake “slides into home”, I take them to parks and more times than not, by the time we go home, they both look homeless.  They play hard, and they get dirty.  But that is learning too! When I see other little boys watch Jake on the ball fields and then join in on the fun only to hear their mom “little junior, get over here, look what you did, you are filthy!” That mom gives me a look like I am a heathen but I happily say “good slide” as my Jake comes running over to me needing a drink to wash the dirt that is now in his mouth.   And a little brother that will be toddling after him, doing the same.

I think everyone has their own version of perfect, someday I look back on everything I did and think, “man I was pretty close that day.” Other days I am so far off the mark it surprises even myself. But perfect or not, crafts or not, dirty or not….the boys are loved. I am trying. And they love me for all my imperfections.