My little Angel can be a little Devil
Event-filled weekends always sound like a fun time but when I factor in that I have a two year
old and an almost-four year old situations can go bad just as quickly as they
started. We planned a busy weekend in St.
Louis and had many different attractions to go see, but after being off our “normal”
schedule for almost 24-hours the boys started to hit a little bit of a wall.
Our Saturday brunch went well, and we were going to go back to my sisters to
take a nap, well…this didn’t happen. No
naps after a VERY busy night/day proves to be the start of a downward spiral
for my little munchkins.
The rambunctious-ness started that only happens when they
are so tired that they are looking for things to do or ‘get-into’ to keep themselves
awake. This usually isn’t ‘good’ things and when corrected they are so
over-tired that a small “NO-NO Jimmy!” or “Jacob, I already told you once!”
turns into a stage five hurricane sized tantrum. So instead of staying and
resuming fun activities as planned we decided it was best for our clan…and the
sanity of all adults… if we packed up and headed home. This of course didn’t
make the boys happy but they were asleep before we crossed the Mississippi Bridge
(which is about 5 minutes from when we got into the car.)
FINALLY, it was time for bed! (YES! High-fives were given
after this crazy day). I know, I know,
don’t wish the days away, one day we will want them this little again. I think that is true, but if I can have them
little again I would wish for a different day, but if I couldn’t and I had to
have this day, I would just be happy that they grew up and I wasn’t in an
insane asylum.
After a much better nights rest, thanks- to my husband for
getting up with the boys so I could sleep, it was going to be a better day! And
for the most part it was. Jimmy was his happy little self, and pretty pleased
as long as he wasn’t getting knocked to the ground (to-hard) from his big
brother. However, my four year-old must
be going through an ‘I am going to test my limits’ phase. He is head-strong and stubborn and wants to
argue HIS way to the simplest request that I have.
Me: “Hey Jakers, Please pick that juice cup up?”
Jake: (after pretending NOT to hear me) “Why?”
Me: “Because I asked you to and that would be a nice thing to do?”
Jake: “But it is Jimmy’s cup, and he needs to learn to be nice too, let’s
ask him.”
“Jimmy, help mommy and pick up your juice cup.”
Jimmy: “Okay Jakey!”
Jake: “There you go mommy, all picked up”
I know I have to pick my battles but it is this type of thing all day
long that wears my patience down. Trying to balance him learning to handle
independence and learning that he does have a voice and it is important against
being disobedient and disrespectful is at times difficult.
I am trying to balance being tough...but not TOO tough and being patient
without being walked on. The exhaustion
of repeating myself fifteen times before he looks up with doe eyes and says “What
did you say momma?” Annoys me, but there
is something about his sweet little innocent face looking up at me with his
sparkly blue-green eyes just like his daddies that makes me smile and repeat it
for the sixteenth time.
The depth of a mother’s limitless love continues to amaze me. After two days of a little boy who has tip-toed
over the metaphoric line of naughty vs. nice I was drained and exhausted, it
was bath and bedtime and that in itself is busy. I went back to his room to speak to him, to
see if he understood why he was in time out….again.
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| At a family wedding trying to "dance" with Jake & "entertain" Jimmy to keep everyone happy...Photo by Lisa Lu Designs |
As Jake sat in my lap and we calmly talked he told me “I know I cannot
throw toys at my brother, I’m sorry.”
I asked him “Remember what I
told you, about being bad?” I was expecting him to say ‘that other kids won’t
want to play with a bad little boy.’ But instead he said “Yes Mommy, I remember
that you told me that you loved me when I am bad AND when I am good, but you
are the most proud of me when I am good, I always like when you are proud of me,
I am sorry I wasn’t good.”
Well after a very long day those words were too sweet and I was not
able to hold back a few tears. I went to bed last night thankful for a little
boy who had a couple bad days to show me how immensely grateful I am for the hundreds
of good days that he gives me.
Jake & Jimmy,
If there is anything that
you take away from these letters to you, it is this: Yes, I love you when you
are good or bad, I am proud of you whether you win, lose or draw. I will stand beside you as a friend when you
need a helping hand, behind you because my confidence in you will exceed your
own or in front of you to shield you from harm. I will lose my patience’s and I
will not always be right, but believe me when I tell you whether I am right or
wrong in the long term, I was, to the best of my ability, doing what I thought
was right in the present.
There is no soul who could
love you like I do
Indefinitely yours,
Mommy
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