Adventures in Mommyland

I think it obvious that I love my boys, very, very much……but that doesn’t mean I don’t get stressed out.  I have been working quite a bit lately, so that adds to the stress and little sleep.  Does anyone else every think; “can anything else go wrong right now?”……well don’t say that! EVER! …because, yes, it most certainly can!

Jake and Daddy fell asleep on the couch last night before I even got home from work, so I ‘sweetly’ left them there so I could crawl into bed ALL ALONE. (This is a luxury that too many people take for granted. Haha) I think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow. At 4am Jake climbed in bed with me and kissed my cheek as he snuggled close. What a cutie, right? Well it was cute until 5:30am when I woke up ‘sweating’ because I was so hot from him pretty much laying on me. I gently move him and rolled out of bed like I am Keanu Reeves in the Matrix movie, trying to not wake him. It is only then that I see I’m not actually sweating I am coved in “potty!” I don’t mean the sheets were wet, which they were, I’m talking my entire shirt is saturated all the way up to the shoulder of the shirt. He really picked a prime location cause he got the sheets, the blanket and the comforter….oh and ME!

I can’t complain too much this is only the 3^rd time he has ever wet the bed and we stopped cold turkey on pull-ups, even at night, at 2.5 years old.  So it hardly ever happens but man, ‘when it rains, it pours!’ So as much as I want to get out of this pee soaked shirt I hear Jimmy crying in his crib (an hour before he is usually up).  I walk to the other side of the house, flip on the light to his room to see this beautiful boy smiling up at me. What a sweetheart, right? I didn’t think I could smell anything over the smell of this urine shirt I’m still wearing until I walked to pick up ‘smiley’. I don’t know what that kid ate but it was ALL OVER!

By this time Jake is up and crying because he is embarrassed and uncomfortable.  So as Jake stands there crying and trying to get undressed, Jimmy is wiggling all over the place as I try to peel his pajamas off of him, I am cold from my shirt which now the potty is actually starting to dry, I have been in it so long.  Somehow this morning we are all covered in SHIT. I don’t curse too much in my writing but there is no way around this one. Then, SURPRISE, I’m now running late for work. I hop in the shower bring both boys with me, cause we all needed bathed, nothing more relaxing then taking a shower with a three year old and a toddler.

Between them playing slip n’ slide between my legs while I wash my hair, me trying to keep them from playing dominos in the bath to Jake telling Jimmy “Look Jimmy, Mommy doesn’t have a wiener like us, but she has nice nipples!” I think I could have called it a day and crawled back in bed!  I’m pretty secure in myself but somehow when these sweet little people start examining me I would have rather stood in a 7^th grade girl's locker room to shower. But I get out, get them out, get them dressed and start putting myself together.

I’m almost done when as I am getting dressed and I see Jimmy climbing the vanity to get my hair straightener, (which is unplugged), but non-the-less still very hot! So as I leap across the bathroom to catch this hot iron before it touches my baby, the dogs run into the bathroom playing. This causes me to trip over them land on Jake, who was happily playing puzzles on my iPhone, now the dog is whimpering from getting tripped on, Jake is crying cause I almost landed on him, that damn hair straightener wiggled off the counter and hit Jimmy right in the head!  My goodness, Thursday morning…..I’m glad you are OVER!

Every day you wake up in ‘Mommy Land’ and don’t know what is gonna get thrown at you next…(and sometimes I mean physically thrown at you.) But as I continue to travel down this hilarious, exhausting, winding, wondering path I feel my reflexes quicken. So whatever you want to throw at this mommy next, I’ll be ready to catch it!

I hope everyone else had a cleaner, less eventful morning!