Power of a Parent

I had amazing parents who helped to teach me to be positive. They provided me with encouragement, strength, wisdom and most importantly love;  In doing so that gave me the ability to be self-confident and strong. Sure there are times while I was growing up that I was uncomfortable or not-so-sure in my skin, but I had a mom who happily listened to all of my stories (along with my little sisters) from school that day. She would assure me: “Ang, you are very smart, don’t let this grade determine who you are.” “Angela Rae, you are smart and beautiful don’t let anyone or anything let you think differently!!!” but my favorite one, “honey, I am so proud of you.” This one came with my accomplishment and my defeats.  This came when I finally decided to switch my major in college and was petrified that both my parents would be disappointed. But instead that Christmas afternoon when we talked all they said was “We are so proud of you, we just want you to be happy.”  

I know I was most definitely given a hand-up by having my dad and momma constantly embed into our brains how, smart, strong, graceful, lady-like, beautiful, athletic (although this was usually used more for my sisters J ), driven, incredible and loved we all are. This is irreplaceable.  The things that your parents say to you last forever. The power of a parents words are profound.

We would all mess up, so this is not to say that we were not punished or reprimanded for things.  My parents held us very responsible. For the most part we were good kids, and we didn’t receive many groundings or being without a privilege. I think being without my car or the privilege to use the phone would have been better then what my mom did. When I would mess up she would calmly say, with full composure, looking me right in the eyes, “I’m disappointed in you.” I can’t remember what she said it about but I can remember the feeling. A miserable feeling. A feeling that to this day, I will always try to avoid.

And while I hated that feeling, It now makes me understand why. I love my parents; they truly are my best friends. I value their thoughts and opinions because I know their opinion have always and will always be in my favor.  They are the best support system in helping me and my sisters achieve our goals. Their unfaltering honesty and compassion is priceless. The pride that they had when we achieved something would almost make them glow. Their unwavering guidance made me NEVER want to disappoint them, and when I did I would have rather them taken my car, or phone, or even slapped me. But they didn’t. I could not respect anyone more and hearing that I disappointed them in my actions was a bigger punishment than anything else ever could be.

I understand that we were disciplined out of love.  I understand know how much it sucks to discipline your child. My hope is that I can say with those few words “I’m disappointed in you” and my boys will get inline.  I don’t want to say it so they feel the sadness that I felt. But I think that if that is their biggest punishment I must have done something right. That will let me see that they respect me, my opinions, my thoughts. For it is only the ones you respect the most that you want to impress. So I continue to try to build their respect for me.

I do try to be the best mom for them; I try to be a lot like my mom. And while she assures me that I am wonderful, I am certain I can never live up to her.  I try to be patient and kind, and both my husband and I sing the boys praises often.  We want to build their confidence like my parents did to me. We tell them both “how smart they are”, “you speak so well” “good job using your fork Jimmy!” “Good dancing/singing/writing/coloring, basketball, football, baseball…etc”

One day they will be grown up and one day they will no longer come home to mommy and daddy’s house.  One day someone will tell them that they are not good enough at…something. On that day, I hope my words of encouragement and praise ring in their ears. I hope they do not get to down because I have tried to lift them up my whole life.

I know the power of my words are strong.  I know it will forever impact the way my boys view themselves and the world. I try to use those words carefully, to build them up, So they know when they are defeated, which is a life lesson, they can still hold their head high. Their mom whether near or far is proud of them. I am sure they will achieve great things and I hope that one day, whether it is said or not, that they feel they way I do about my parents:

I am most definitely a better person for being raised by the parents I have.  I am infinitely blessed to be loved as hard and deep as I am by them.  I never knew how much you loved me until I was a mom.  It’s an unconditional, instinctive, exhausting, inspiring and sometimes thank-less love you have for your child. 

THANK YOU mom and dad, I couldn’t imagine a better life.