New Year's Resolution

I think all too often, we get caught up in what we don’t have and forget about everything we do have. I am guilty of this.  Before having kids I wanted the new Coach purse, or a (few) new pair of shoe(s).  I wanted a newer, nicer car.  I wanted many new and nice things.  And many times because both my husband and I were working and we didn’t have kids and a daycare bill and doctor bills….I just ran right out and got them.

So it hit me in the face after Jake was born when I found myself without work for a substantial period of time.  There was no more frivolous spending.  We watched every nickel and dime but I know this has made us better, more fiscally responsible people. However I am not saying that I didn’t complain, and still sometimes do as we try to build back up the saving that we so drastically cut into. 

I often talk about my little boys and have left their daddy out of the topic of conversation. However my life would not be possible without him, when one of us gets down the other is there to pick you up. So as we went/go through financial distress we continue to tell ourselves, “this is nothing, we have our health and our boys are healthy, we will get through this.”  And we have, with the support of my husband and family I have found a wonderful job, a job that I absolutely love.

I still find myself sometimes going back to the “have-not Camp” but no longer for me.  Honestly I could care less about the purse I have or the shoes I am wearing. The cutest thing on my arm is my 16 month-old, Jimmy. The only new shoes I may need are running shoes to keep up with my Jakers.  As long as I have a car that is safe a reliable to haul around my precious bundles I am happy.

When I venture back to the “have-not Camp,” it is for my kids.  I want to give them the world. I want to take them to beach vacations every 6 months, I want to take them to Disney World and Disney Land, I want to give them the best and the biggest of everything.  As much as I want to give all of this to them, it is not possible. We are not millionaires, our dollars are used for our house hold expenses and their college education savings and the practical items, and we limit the "fun" spending.

While we are fortunate to be able to take them on a vacation in the coming years, I am reminded each night by my little Jake as we lay in bed, why vacations are not so important. We pray each night for our family and I ask him about his day. We talk about what he is thankful for and what was his favorite part of the day, and since he could talk there has only been a handful of times that he said his favorite part of the day was a tangible item he received.  Granted he will say he is thankful for ‘Buzz’ and ‘Woody’ and ‘Mikey Mouse,’ but his favorite part of yesterday was when “daddy taught me how to hike the football.”  Last week some of them were “when you tickled me & Jimmy and we laughed.” “When we got to eat noodles for breakfast, those are my favorite” (Yes, I needed to go to the grocery store REALLY bad…mother of the year, pasta for breakfast).

So while I cannot give them everything I ever wanted, I can give them everything that they need. I can love them more than anyone can ever love them. I can teach the boys patients by showing them my own patients.  I can teach them to be kind and sincere my doing so myself.  I can help them be true to themselves and stand up for what they believe in. And I can be proud of them, whether they win or lose, succeed or fail. I will be in the stand rallying behind them in everything they do, from little league to high school football, to college mid-terms and job interviews. I will be on their team, all the time, without being asked. 

I’ve been able to pass along an incredible extended family full of Nanny and Pa’s and Grammy and Papa’s, aunts and uncles and friends who are considered family.  They never have to go to bed wondering if they are loved.  They feel the presence of positivity and happiness by everyone that surrounds them. 

So my New Year’s resolution this year was when I venture to the “have-not Camp” think of the things that money cannot buy, that my children DO have. There are a lot of really wealthy people in this world who are not as rich as me. This is what I shall remember, my "riches" will have a return on investment that will surpass my wildest expectations. Jake and Jimmy, I know you will do great things!